Aim to be on the same page!

24th of Febuary 2012

Marriage tip of the day: Aim to be on the same page as your spouse!

Of course we are all different, but as a married couple what used to be two units is now one! When I was single I was free to do what ever I wanted to do. I didn’t have to think about or consult anyone else if I thought something was a good idea. I aimed to please myself. Once Nigel and I made the commitment to be together, we became a husband and wife team. Now there were two of us to think of. Any union between us could only be possible following an agreement to give and take. I have to admit I have not always got the balance of this right, and this has inevitably caused conflict. I have learned the hard way, that I cannot expect to continue to live as if I am single when I am married. It is unwise and would be like struggling to save up, managing to get a mortgage to buy your dream house, achieving an equilibrium, and then using a bulldozer to tear down the very home you have lovingly built! Don’t get me wrong you can still have and pursue dreams when you are married. However it is much wiser to consider how your spouse and the marriage will be affected, during the pursuit! It is also a good idea to consult with them, include them and seek their blessing and support. It will be much more of a dream come true if your loved one is in your corner, beaming with pride as you achieve your goals! That has got to be better than fulfilling your dreams and regretfully having no one to share it with!

Having Nigel makes my life richer and I thank God that he loves me. When I talk things over with him I get a clarity I didn’t have on my own. He helps me see the whole perspective and often the missing pieces of the puzzle. I believe through gaining a deeper understanding of one another, we support and enrich each other, as we remind our spouse why they are blessed rather than cursed to have us!

Why blog about marriage?

Marriage can be the most awesome and amazing adventure! There is nothing quite like finding your ‘soul mate’ and the joy of no longer having to be alone. This of course is assuming that all is going well! However what about when the opposite is true? What about when marriage has become too much like hard work and the most challenging thing you have ever experienced in your life? What then? Life’s reality unfortunately is that there are many broken homes and hearts. What started off with such promise often ends up in a painful disaster, with husband and wife left wondering what on earth they ever saw in each other! I wonder, however does all have to be lost? Does divorce have to be the only option and way forward? I don’t believe so. If a miracle is what is needed and what it takes, then it can happen and it is possible. If husband and wife are holding on to the marriage even if just by a thread, that small hope is light at the end of the tunnel. With mutual hard work, determination and a desire to overcome every obstacle, and save the marriage anything is possible!

My husband Nigel and I have been married for nine years and five months. It has been touch and go many times, and frankly quite often I just didn’t think we were going to make it. Thankfully however we did pull through and get over the worst. We are still married and more in love and at peace with one another now than ever before, I’m glad to be able to report. It wasn’t easy for us to iron things out and it may not be easy for you either. Deep down we both believed our marriage was worth fighting for, and so fight we did!

It is out of this experience that I humbly want to share with you my thoughts and findings. I do not consider myself to be an expert. However it is my deepest desire and wish that through sharing my experiences with you, maybe I can prevent you from making the mistakes that I did. Perhaps this could help save you from a lot of heartache in your own marriage. After all marriage is not meant to be a nightmare that you can’t wake up from, it is a gift!

Welcome!

Welcome to this blog about marriage and the blessing and gift that it is.  Marriage is not easy nor will it work if taken lightly.  However it is an awesome adventure for all those brave enough to make the commitment. It takes nurturing and hard work but the rewards of a good, healthy and beautiful marriage far out weigh the difficulties and challenges. The divorce statistics   in our world show that sadly marriage breakdown is on the increase and help in this area is needed.

I share from my own experience of marriage and invite you to share comments from your own experiences as we learn together. Hopefully marriage will become more something to celebrate, rather than something to mourn!