As a husband or wife, would you say that you are a reliable source of support for your spouse? Can they count on you to be there for them in anyway they need you to be? Do you provide a safe place for them to be themselves without fear of judgement? Or do you think your main job is to nag and criticize them until you successfully put them in their place? These questions can be answered as you look back to your wedding day and consider honestly the vows you made to your spouse. This is not rocket science. Doing certain things will successfully tear away at the fabric of your marriage causing it to disintegrate. The question ofcourse is…. do you want to stay married or not?
Read two free chapters of Run for your life by the author here:
Marriage is a chance to share every aspect of your life with someone else! Life ceases to be all about you and now becomes about you and your loved one. Marriage brings companionship, friendship, support, love, acceptance and intimacy. Ofcourse marriage is not the answer to all your problems, but instead of facing and dealing with them all by yourself, now you have someone who is a partner in the good and bad times. Marriage is a blessing and when it is right, it is a cause for celebration!
Give your spouse the time and room they need to grow. If there are things that you believe need changing about them instead of complaining and moaning, why not decide to be their greatest encourager? Support them and be a major part of their change instead. Let them know that you are in this for the long hall and their place of safety is with you!
Marriage tip of the day: Aim to be on the same page as your spouse!
Of course we are all different, but as a married couple what used to be two units is now one! When I was single I was free to do what ever I wanted to do. I didn’t have to think about or consult anyone else if I thought something was a good idea. I aimed to please myself. Once Nigel and I made the commitment to be together, we became a husband and wife team. Now there were two of us to think of. Any union between us could only be possible following an agreement to give and take. I have to admit I have not always got the balance of this right, and this has inevitably caused conflict. I have learned the hard way, that I cannot expect to continue to live as if I am single when I am married. It is unwise and would be like struggling to save up, managing to get a mortgage to buy your dream house, achieving an equilibrium, and then using a bulldozer to tear down the very home you have lovingly built! Don’t get me wrong you can still have and pursue dreams when you are married. However it is much wiser to consider how your spouse and the marriage will be affected, during the pursuit! It is also a good idea to consult with them, include them and seek their blessing and support. It will be much more of a dream come true if your loved one is in your corner, beaming with pride as you achieve your goals! That has got to be better than fulfilling your dreams and regretfully having no one to share it with!
Having Nigel makes my life richer and I thank God that he loves me. When I talk things over with him I get a clarity I didn’t have on my own. He helps me see the whole perspective and often the missing pieces of the puzzle. I believe through gaining a deeper understanding of one another, we support and enrich each other, as we remind our spouse why they are blessed rather than cursed to have us!